U.S. vs. England
The U.S. opens the World Cup soccer tournament on Saturday versus England. The winner will take a huge step towards making it to the next round. The loser gets BP.



Tea Partier Punched
A Tea Party demonstrator in North Carolina was punched in the face by a liberal counter protestor earlier this week. The media is refusing to broadcast this story, except for Rachel Maddow who is reporting that a Tea Party racist injured a peace loving man by slamming his face into his fist.



Obama's BP Demand
President Obama now wants BP to pay the salaries of all the oil rig workers who have been laid off because of the White House's new moratorium on offshore drilling. It also wants the oil company to pay the salaries of all the Democrat members of Congress who are going to lose their jobs in November.



USC Ban
The USC football team will be hit with a two year bowl ban for recruiting violations. This is bad news for Los Angeles as practicing for their annual bowl game was the only thing keeping most of USC's players from shoplifting and carjacking.



Jeffs in the Clear
Arizona has dropped all charges against polygamist leader Warren Jeffs. Prosecutors decided Jeffs wasn't as bad as the scary people on "Big Love."





June 10th


1539: Paul III delays the Council of Trent due to war and the fact that he had to wait at his house all day for the cable guy to show up.


1935: Alcoholics Anonymous is founded in Akron, Ohio... it is immediately moved to another city where it's not as depressing to stay sober.


1996: Peace talks begin in Northern Ireland with a major breakthrough as both the British and the Irish agree that U2 was "totally done."