Suburban Spies
The FBI has arrested 10 alleged Russian spies. The leaders of the ring were operating out of a house in Montclair, New Jersey, the best place to find out when the next sale is planned at Nordstrom.



Broke Countries Play
Spain plays Portugal in a World Cup round of 16 match today. At halftime, the players from both sides are expected to go into the stands and pan handle.



Airline Baggage Fees
U.S. airlines made $769 million in revenues from baggage fees in the first quarter of this year... and that's just the money they got from selling the bags they "lost."



Biden to the Gulf
Vice President Joe Biden is expected to visit the Gulf area today. The White House is sending the only thing slimier than the water new the BP rig.



Tesla Soars
The IPO for electric sports car maker Tesla Motors was a rousing success yesterday. Most of the stock was bought by Al Gore, who needs a faster green car to speed away from the scenes of his sexual assaults.





June 29th


1926: Arthur Meighen returns to office as Prime Minister of Canada. He had sgtepped out for lunch in 1923, and nobody noticed for three years.


1928: The Outerbridge Crossing and Goethals Bridge open in Staten Island. Some of the first cars on the bridge that day are still trying to get through the traffic.


1972: The Supreme Court rules the death penalty could constitute "cruel and unusual punishment"... especially if administered by Oakland Raiders fans.