King Quitting
Larry King is ending his nightly show on CNN this fall. With King not leaving the house as often, Depends adult diapers are expected to go out of business.



Kagan Grilled
Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan is taking heat from several Senators for not allowing U.S. military recruiters on the Harvard campus. But in her defense, it's important to note that most Harvard students are only interested in being recruited by al Qaeda.



Verizon iPhone?
Apple will offer an iPhone and iPad with Verizon service this January. This would be big news in the Apple world, but everyone with AT&T iPhones and iPads don't know about it yet because they're still waiting to get connected to the internet.



Prison Spending Slash
Britain is hoping to cut government spending by halting $5.5 billion in new prison construction. To keep criminals off the streets, British cops will simply put bars around all their soccer stadiums during each match.



Charger Busted
Former San Diego Charger Kevin Ellison was arrested after being found with 100 vicodin tablets. Ellison is accused of trying to sell the pills to Charger fans after each of their last five heartbreaking playoff losses.





June 30th


1559: King Henry II of France is seriously injured in a jousting match against Gabriel de Montgomery. The injuries sting all the stronger when instant replay determines that de Montgomery should have been called offsides.


1805: The U.S. Congress organizes the Michigan Territory. It's organized into two sections: "Cold" and "Really Freaking Cold."


1990: West Germany and East Germany merge their economies. One part takes the lead in building cars and heavy machinery, the other dominates the growing business of collecting welfare.