Green Pulled?
After letting a goal spill through his fingers Saturday, British goalie Robert Green is being pulled from the team... and returning to his job at BP.



World Cup "Scores"
Some of the opening games of the World Cup have ended in 0-0 ties; prompting most European fans to complain about too much offense.




Victims Fund
The Democrats want BP to set aside a $20 billion fund to pay the victims of Gulf oil spill. Now the hard part is proving that teachers, cops and retired UAW workers are all victims of the oil spill.




Philly Airport Plan
The Philadelphia airport may get a $535 million upgrade... but it will take a lot more than that to help passengers forget they're in Philadelphia.



Prison Cutbacks
Several state prisons are reducing the number of inmates in solitary confinement. Putting more inmates together in a cell is saving the states on prison construction costs, but costing them millions more in Vaseline requests.





June 14th


1846: Anglo settlers in Sonoma, California, start a rebellion against Mexico and proclaim the California Republic. The new government immediately hires illegal alien Mexicans to cut back on costs.


1872: Trade unions are legalised in Canada. No one has done an honest day's work in Canada ever since.


1966: The Vatican abolishes its list of prohibited books, forcing teenage boys to find dirty books for themselves for the first time since 1557.