Jobs Report
The crucial jobs report is due out this morning at 8:30 Eastern Time. It's not clear if the White House is trying to divert America's attention from that report, but 8:30 is exactly the time that Obama Administration is giving out free ice cream at participating Ben & Jerry's across the country.



Broadband Improvements
At 9:30AM, the President will announce a major Stimulus project to invest in better broadband internet service... mostly in hopes that more Americans will be too busy enjoying better internet porn to notice when the next bad jobs report comes out.



Immelt in Trouble
GE CEO Jeffrey Immelt is in hot water with his board of directors after criticizing President Obama in a newspaper interview this week. GE stock has been in the toilet for 10 years, but Immelt says one bad thing about the President and NOW the board is paying attention?



Hard Times
The economy is so bad in America that the charity Habitat for Humanity is now one of the top 10 homebuilders in the U.S. Next, the Obama administration is hoping to make the Salvation Army the top clothing retailer and the YMCA the top hotel chain.



Minimum Wage?
Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is ordering all state workers to be paid minumum wage until the California legislature passes the budget. But the courts are expected to block that measure, since no California state worker is worth even $7.25 an hour.





July 2nd

1679: Europeans first visit Minnesota... and declare it almost as depressing as Sweden.


1777: Vermont becomes the first American territory to abolish slavery... mostly because black people just don't look good in plaid.


1937: Amelia Earhart and navigator Fred Noonan are last heard from over the Pacific Ocean while attempting to make the first round-the-world flight. Their car is still at the airport lot and has now run up long-term fees of over $15 million.