Lohan Released
Lindsay Lohan has just been released from jail. Shares of heroin are up 537% in the pre-market.



Bieber Book
16-year-old singing idol Justin Bieber is publishing his memoirs. It will be the first autobiography to use the pop-up format.



Economic Fix
The Democrats have a new plan to help Americans dealing with foreclosure... it includes moving millions of them into Charlie Rangel's illegal rent controlled apartments in Manhattan.



UAW Threat
The UAW says it is asking non-union auto companies to ensure fair work practices. Apparently, all those hard-working guys at Honda and Hyundai are ruining the curve.



China Economy
China's July manufacturing data were the weakest in more than a year as the government clamped down on real estate speculation, energy-inefficient factories, and kidney trafficking.






August 2nd


1610: Henry Hudson sails into what it is now known as Hudson Bay, and becomes the last person ever to easily find decent parking anywhere near Manhattan.


1937: The Marijuana Tax Act of 1937 is passed in America, essentially rendering marijuana illegal… and forever harshing on everyone’s mellow.


1990: Iraq invades Kuwait, rendering the world victim to 20 years of deadly reporting from Wolf Blitzer.