Jobs Report
The U.S. economy added 290,000 jobs in April... and that was just all the lawyers who got hired to defend BP.



Greek Bailout
Germany has approved a massive bailout package for Greece. Greek protesters can't wait for that money to get to them so they can take it out on the streets and burn it.



Blankfein Defiant
Despite all the bad publicity, Goldman Sachs chief Lloyd Blankfein says he has no intention of resigning... at least not until he cheats those three little old ladies in Kansas out of their homes too.




Taylor Dropped
Nutrisystem has ended its relationship with New York Giants linebacker Lawrence Taylor... not because he was just charged with rape, but becase orange prison jumpsuits make him look fat.



SUV Cleared
Consumer Reports now says it is lifting its rare "don't buy" rating on the 2010 Lexus GX 460 SUV. It is once again safe for people to waste 60 grand on a gas guzzling car nobody needs.





May 7th

1718: The city of New Orleans is founded by Jean-Baptiste Le Moyne de Bienville. The city is set up as a sanctuary for chicks who like to flash for beads.


1832: The independence of Greece is recognized by the Treaty of London. Greek asserts its independence by immediately asking to borrow $15 billion from the rest of Europe.


1998: Mercedes-Benz buys Chrysler for $40 billion. For everyone who's bought an overpriced Mercedes over the years, the deal was a sweet example of Karma.