Tesla Plant
Electric car maker Tesla is going to start production at a closed plant once used by GM and Toyota. Tesla hopes using the plant will help it make an overpriced car that accelerates unintentionally.



New U.K. Plan
The new British government is working on a plan to massively cut back on the number of civil servants and teachers. If everything goes as planned, English civil servants will become as rare as English dentists.



Jupiter Mystery
Scientists don't know quite why, but one of Jupiter's two main cloud belts has disappeared... but in this economy, Jupiter's car, boat and summer house are also suddenly missing.



Good News in the Gulf?
BP says the massive oil leak in the Gulf of Mexico could be stopped next week. But the White House may order the company to keep it open until the administration can find someone else to bash.



Armstrong Hurt
The bad news for Lance Armstrong is he needs stitches after falling off his bike in a race yesterday. The good news is he fell off after running over Floyd Landis.





May 21st


1758: Mary Campbell is abducted from her home in Pennsylvania by the Lenape Indians after they learn she had been counting cards at the tribal casino.


1864: Russia declares an end to the Russian-Circassian War... creating a day of celebration for people with speech impediments all over the world.


1927: Charles Lindbergh touches down at Le Bourget Field in Paris, completing his mission to fly solo across the Atlantic and find more of his fellow Anti-Semites.