BP Admission
BP has admitted to Congress that it ignored a key warning sign before it went ahead with drilling the ill-fated oil well in the Gulf. Government regulators at the Department of Interior would have seen the same warning sign if they hadn't been too busy watching porn at work.



$13 Trillion!
The U.S. debt has just exceeded $13 trillion. All Americans under the age of 90 are now being forced to wash the dishes at P.F. Chang's.




White House Illegal Jobs Office
Now there are two Democrat candidates for the U.S. Senate who say the Obama administration offered them White House jobs if they dropped out of their primary races. Finally we have some proof that President Obama really is creating jobs after all!



James Claim
Sandra Bullock's estranged husband Jesse James says he was a victim of child abuse. Apparently both his parents were really, really bad tattoo artists.



9/11 Mosque
A New York City community board has approved plans to build a Mosque just steps from Ground Zero. But in all fairness, the board has also approved plans for an al Qaeda terrorist training camp in Central Park.





May 26th


1637: A combined Protestant and Mohegan force under Captain John Mason attacks a Pequot village in Connecticut, massacring approximately 500 Native Americans, and plundering 500 packs of untaxed cigarettes.


1869: Boston University is chartered by the Commonwealth of Massachusetts at the urging of desperate male Harvard students who wanted to meet women with less facial hair.


1986: The European Community adopts the European flag... but like everything else in the European Community, it was not paid for.