Fergie Caught
Dutchess of York Sarah Ferguson has been caught on tape trying to sell access to her ex-husband, Prince Andrew, for $800,000. It's a shocking story, because no one can believe anyone would pay more than 5 bucks to meet Prince Andrew.



GOP Victory in Hawaii
A Republican has won a special congressional election in President Obama's home district in Hawaii. To make matters worse, Democrats are also starting to fall behind in the polls on Obama's real home district in Indonesia.



Korean Crisis
Secretary of State Hillary Clinton says the U.S. is standing by South Korea in its growing dispute with North Korea... that is, until President Obama apologizes to North Korea.



Sestak Bribe Offer
Democrat Pennsylvania Senate nominee Joe Sestak has admitted that the White House offered him a job to drop out of the primary against Arlen Specter. But Sestak was eventually turned down for a cabinet position because he had actually paid all his taxes.



Venus Outfit
Venus Williams won her first round match at the French Open Sunday... and then she rushed downtown for her appearance in a local production of "Moulin Rouge."





May 24th

1626: Peter Minuit buys Manhattan... but the joke's on him when he later finds out most of the island is under rent control.


1940: Igor Sikorsky performs the first successful single-rotor helicopter flight... but still fails to get a job as an on-air traffic reporter at KABC.


1943: Josef Mengele becomes chief medical officer of the Auschwitz concentration camp. Democrats consider him a hero because he offered free health care.