Gates Vaccines
Bill Gates' foundation has just pledged $10 billion to create new vaccines. Most of them will be needed to kill the bugs in Windows 7.



Small Biz Plan
President Obama is proposing a $33 billion plan to help small businesses hire more people. Employers will get up to a $5,000 tax credit for each new hire, and $500,000 if they're willing to hire Martha Coakley.



Leno on Oprah
Jay Leno did an interview with Oprah Winfrey yesterday hoping to boost his image. But any chance of Leno getting her sympathy was dashed when he grabbed her lost donut in the green room.



Army Suicide
The U.S. army is reporting a spike in suicides. It's not clear if this is due to the hellish wars in Iraq and Afghanistan, or all the hellish Hollywood movies about the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.




Fast Food Calories
The good news is a new report shows that listing the calorie counts on fast-food menus has led to fewer kids eating the unhealthy food. The bad news is the real reason American kids are shying away is because they're afraid of anything that looks like math.





January 29th


904: Sergius III comes out of retirement to take over the papacy, much to the relief of his very tired wife.


1886: Karl Benz patents the first successful gasoline-driven automobile... making this a day of mourning for Ed Begley Jr.


1996: President Jacques Chirac announces a "definitive end" to French nuclear weapons testing. From then on, all French nuclear weapons classes have been been "pass/fail."