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Amtrak High Speed "Vision"
Today, Amtrak will unveil its 30-year plan for high-speed rail along the East Coast. Right now on Amtrak, it takes 30 years to get from Philadelphia to Newark
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Union Takeover
The AFL CIO's President says it's time for unions to take over public companies... just as soon as they get off their lunch break.
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BP Safety
The good news is BP is creating a new safety division. The bad news is it's headed by Lindsay Lohan.
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AIG Deal?
There is reportedly a deal in the works to dramatically cut the government's stake in AIG... just as soon as we can find enough drunken sailors to buy the stock.
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Attack Stopped
Paris police say the city has thwarted a massive al Qaeda attack. The terrorists were apparently ready to bomb several targets, but after living in Europe for several months they all refused to work more than three hours a day.
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September 29th
1227: Frederick II, Holy Roman Emperor, is excommunicated by Pope Gregory IX for his failure to participate in the Crusades and the Vatican fantasy football league.
1960: Nikita Khrushchev, leader of Soviet Union, disrupts a meeting of the United Nations General Assembly with a number of angry outbursts… mostly because they would not validate parking.
1962: Alouette 1, the first Canadian satellite, is launched… it is immediately sent to the penalty box.
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