Cold Case Arrest
Police have arrested two suspects in connection with the alleged murders of five New Jersey teenagers in 1978. Now the only fugitives still at large from 1978 are the criminals who created "Dance Fever."



Security Suggestion
President Obama's nominee to head the Transportation Security Administration wants the U.S. to copy the Israeli security model... not only because that's the best way to keep America safe, but also because that will really piss off Hillary Clinton.




Health Insurance Kids
The new health care law allows young adults to stay on their parents' insurance plans until they're 26 years old. And they're going to need that insurance, because unemployed 26-year-olds living at home are 77% more likely to get their asses kicked regularly by their parents.



Google vs. China
China continues to block Google's free access search engine. This is making it much harder for American businesses to find the poisonous toys and pet food they desperately need.



French Get Smart
France is abandoning its plan to tax carbon emmissions, the Obama administration is still pushing for the idea here in the U.S. You know we're in trouble when the French are more business savvy than Americans.





March 24th


1765: Great Britain passes the Quartering Act requiring the 13 Colonies to house British troops. Luckily they were British, so at least they didn't require toothbrushes.


1832: In Hiram, Ohio a group of men beat, tar and feather Mormon leader Joseph Smith, Jr. The men go on to write the pilot script for Big Love.


1936: The longest game in NHL history, going six overtimes, is played between Detroit and Montreal. By the end of the game the two teams had three teeth between them.


2003: The Arab League votes 21-1 in favor of a resolution demanding the immediate and unconditional removal of U.S. and British soldiers from Iraq. The one "nay" vote came from the Kuwaiti Bowling Team that really needed another ringer for Thursday nights.