Stimulus Jobs Drying Up
A new report shows that thousands of stimulus-created jobs are already wrapping up with no replacements in sight. Luckily, the thousands of imaginary jobs created by the stimulus are expected to last another 500 years.



Afghan Decision
Tonight, President Obama is expected to announce he'll send an additional 30,000 troops to Afghanistan and about 40,000 troops to protect Democrats in Congress who vote for health care reform.



New Focus
The Pentagon now says it is targeting its most serious inside threats... so the people responsible for the cafeteria food are in big trouble.




Swiss Minaret Ban
Muslim groups say the Swiss vote to ban future construction of Mosque minarets is racist and hateful. They say without the minarets, Swiss Muslims may not find the nearest Mosque where they can spend hours learning racism and hate.



Plane Recovered
An Atlanta World War II vet is reliving his role in history after his fighter plane was pulled from Lake Michigan. He was, after all, the only American pilot to bomb Lake Michigan.




December 1st


1969: The first draft lottery in the United States is held since World War II. Everyone who thinks it's a scratch off ticket lottery is immediately sent to the front lines.

1990: Channel Tunnel sections started from the United Kingdom and France meet 40 metres beneath the seabed. Not long after the first contact, it is determined that the French section gave the British section VD.


1998: Exxon announces a $73.7 billion deal to buy Mobil, thus creating Exxon-Mobil, and offering crazed environmental protesters one-stop shopping.


2006: Mexican President Felipe Calderon declares war on drug traffickers... a declaration somewhat watered down by the fact that he was smuggling heroin out of Tijuana at the time.