Snippets

That funny little thing called intuition:

I've learned, after one too many experiences, that ignoring one’s intuition or sixth sense is not a smart move. Today, I listen.

So there I was last week, toddling towards the post office when two guys came walking towards me. As they drew close I looked into the eyes of one, saw the eyes flick towards my handbag and past it and saw those eyes change. It was a subtle thing, imperceptible almost, but it was there. I had no doubt that my bag was about to be snatched.

I let the guys get two or three paces behind me and then I spun round. And sure enough, there was the one guy, a foot away for me, ready to pounce. I eyeballed him, his eyes flickered and he dodged and moved past me. I have absolutely no doubt that if I hadn’t spun when I did, my bag would have been ripped off my shoulder. Sometimes you just know.

Men in gyms:

Will someone please tell me why there is always one man in the gym who gets out of the swimming pool and in full view of everyone, wraps his towel around his waist and indiscreetly removes his wet swimming costume? It’s not like the walk to the changing room is that far or that there is any reason why he can’t wait to remove the wet costume. Is it perhaps because some men just enjoy the feel of their dangly bits dingling and dangling against their thighs in full public view? Some kind of cheap thrill, perhaps? For my part, I always wonder what would happen if the towel unraveled itself and went plummeting to the floor. Aha, perhaps that’s what they’re secretly hoping for – some sort of perverse opportunity for much hoped for "flashing” !

And because I know some of you want to know…

The snapper snapped. (And look, not an alien chicken in sight!)

Mobbed:

Does anyone have a trick for getting rid of dove mobs? If so, please let me know. Every morning we put out food for the guinea fowl. Every morning the guinea fowl are mobbed by masses of doves, which though considerably smaller than the fowl, overwhelm them with sheer numbers. The guinea fowl, in a state of high dudgeon end up chasing each other and the squirrels while the doves snarf down the food faster than you can say apple-pie.

Someone did suggest making a cut out silhouette of a sparrowhawk, attaching it to guylines running across the garden and pulling a string to set the thing flying and so upsetting the doves entirely. D is sufficiently Heath-Robinsonian to do just such a thing… Barely bears thinking about!

Scribblings:

My first huge rewrite of my current novel is now complete and I have started capturing all the changes. I just have one small problem. I can’t read my own red scribbles that deface every page of the manuscript. Oh woe is me!

Right, now I'm going to ground with a magnifying glass, my glasses and any other tool I can find which will help me decipher my notes!